tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-230874342024-03-07T09:13:13.344+02:00My LifeThis is pretty much itUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-16916571558189303942009-04-01T15:45:00.002+02:002009-04-01T15:47:45.717+02:00My room-mate snores like a teenage hulk hogan.<br />I suspect that my parents knew about this before sending me to res, because I found a pair of earplugs in one of my bags.<br />Last night I was forced to try them out.<br />Good news: I slept right through the snoring.<br />Bad news: I slept right through my alarm clock.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-77024979314312685242009-04-01T15:36:00.002+02:002009-04-01T15:45:11.624+02:00What's the dealio with chickens?<br />I'm pretty sure they're the animal with the most number of jokes about them (who really inquires about why a dog or cow crosses a road?).<br />Not only that, but they've also become the yardstick against which the flavour of all other animals is judged. How did that happen? If the taste of chicken is so common, how is it that the flavour wasn't named after any other animal that tastes the same?<br />Also, how come in "Cow and Chicken" you can see the chicken's whole body, but only the boobs of the cow?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-16387125423948104002009-03-19T08:51:00.002+02:002009-03-19T08:54:20.069+02:00When you're living on your own you end up smelling everything.<br />Here's my procedure for breakfast:<br /><ol><li>Get cereal from on top of the fridge</li><li>Get milk from inside the fridge</li><li>Smell milk (just in case)</li><li>Get bowl from bookshelf</li><li>Smell bowl</li><li>Get spoon from sink</li><li>Smell spoon</li><li>Get another spoon because this one smells funny</li><li>Smell new spoon</li><li>Mix cereal and milk and eat.<br /></li></ol>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-53851337111212491162008-10-22T22:43:00.001+02:002008-10-22T22:45:15.656+02:00I just realized that after 5 years of being in the same school, I still don't actually know what time school starts. I've always left home at 7:15 and then I just wait at school until the bell goes.<br />Weird.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-86692789293261499272008-09-07T21:15:00.008+02:002008-09-07T22:42:03.002+02:00Many people believe that the English language is sufficiently advanced, and that we have a vocabulary broad enough to describe virtually everything imaginable. I used to believe that English had all we would ever need, until five minutes ago when I realized (while in the shower) that there is a massive problem with the fundamentals of English.<br /><br />This issue is best explained using a demonstration. Here's the scene: Mark is the head of a small marketing firm that's pitching a new ad campaign to one of their clients. Mark's subordinate - Fred - is the ambitious youngster who has designed the majority of the adverts for the campaign.<br /><blockquote>Mark: We've spent the past two weeks designing this ad campaign to be perfect for your target market, and I've done the majority of it myself to ensure that it's of the standard that you expect.<br /><br />Fred: Actually I did most of the work.<br /><br />Mark: You're a homo.<br /><br />Fred: No I'm not.<br /><br />Mark: Yes you are.<br /><br />Fred: Am not.<br /><br />Mark: Are.<br /><br />Fred: Am not.<br /><br />Mark: Are.<br /><br />Fred: Am not.<br /><br />Mark: Are.<br /><br />Fred: Am not.<br /><br />Mark: Are.<br /><br />Fred: Am not.<br /><br />Mark: Are.<br /><br />Fred: Just a little.<br /><br /></blockquote>It's clear that Fred was the loser of this fierce argument, but what lead to Mark's success? At first glance it appears as if Mark won simply because Fred is an anal jabber, but after analysing the debate more carefully you will realize that the English language gave Mark the upper hand.<br /><br />I've managed to pinpoint the problem to the manner in which negatives are expressed in English. When Mark seeks to enforce his point - that Fred is a gentleman of the back door - he simply replies with "are". When Fred vehemently denies this claim (of being a poo pusher) he has to reply with "am not".<br /><br />This is where the problem lies. "Are" consists of a single syllable, whereas "am not" consists of two syllables. According to my tests, "are" takes approximately 445 milliseconds to say, while "am not" takes between 900 milliseconds and 1 second to say! This huge disparity results in Mark being able to utter more "are" 's than the number of "am not" 's that Fred can declare. In fact, Mark would be able to <span style="font-style: italic;">double</span> that number.<br /><br />I find it unbelievable that we continue to use a language that is so blatantly biased against homosexuals. I mean, they have feelings too (quadriplegics, on the other hand....).<br /><br />The simplest solution to this problem would be for Fred to reply with a single-syllabic word that means the same as "am not". Unfortunately there is no such word in the English language, so a word with the most similar meaning would have to be used instead - "aren't" - however this would make him sound unintelligent in front of their client. A foolish rectum rider is the last person the client would want handling their ad campaign, so Fred and Mark would certainly lose the marketing job.<br />Instead, I suggest creating a new single-syllablic word with the same meaning as "am not". This word would have to be single-syllabic to ensure that it's pronunciation time is similar to that of "are". Simply contracting "am not" to "amn't" produces a word that is difficult to pronounce - especially during a heated debate. In addition, this may be confused with the word "dammit" which would probably lead to tension between the two speakers. Instead, a completely new word needs to be formed, and my contribution to the English language is that precise word: "Nog".Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-72698680063471561892008-09-04T20:29:00.004+02:002008-09-04T21:10:50.888+02:00Yesterday my business studies teacher pissed me off.<br />We were meant to be studying for the test we would be writing the next day but most of the class was just chatting (thats pretty much all we do in bs). Eventually our teacher - we will call him Mr. Strydom (because that's his name) - got angry enough to start shouting (loud enough to be heard over the noise we were making) about how much work he puts into the subject and how we don't give anything back and how disrespectful we are. Obviously as soon as he started lecturing us I stopped paying attention to him (because thats pretty much all <span style="font-style: italic;">he</span> does in bs). He carried on shouting at us and somewhere along the line I smiled at something (completely unrelated to him, since I'd lost interest in him). This is what happened next:<br /><blockquote>Douchebag: "You! Get out my class right now!"<br />It took me a couple of seconds but eventually I realized he was staring at me for some reason.<br />Me: "Me?"<br />Douchebag: "Yes <span style="font-style: italic;">you</span>! And you can wipe that smile off your face!"<br />Me: "Are you seriously trying to kick me out of class for smiling?"<br />Douchebag: "You have no respect blah blah blah im gay blah blah blah..."</blockquote>At this point I decided to be the bigger man (which is really difficult if you consider how <span style="font-style: italic;">big</span> he actually is) so I just said "ok" and shook my head. Apparently he doesn't like anyone challenging his "biggest man" title, so he replied with "Oh yea thats right! Just go shaking your head at me... That's fine!". I couldn't resist anymore, so I just said "You sure its ok? You not going to try kick me out for it?". He didn't like that very much.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-70187939641273600242008-09-01T14:57:00.002+02:002008-09-01T15:28:01.978+02:00My maid Joyce is really nice and a hard worker. but as of 5 minutes ago I'm pretty sure she's crazy.<br />I just told my friend about it so I'll copy and paste our conversation.<br /><br /><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" ></span><blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" >Shiraz: <span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">waoh im so freaked out right now<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz: </span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">i just walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and i see my maid thru the window, mopping our driveway<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Yiyi:</span> </span><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);">how does she mop the drive way?<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz: </span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">with a regular mop! ur not meant to mop a driveway!!</span><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz: </span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">im scared she might have gone insane</span><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Yiyi: </span></span><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);">did u ask her wat she's doing?<br /></span><span style="color: rgb(128, 0, 128);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz:</span> <span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">yiyi, </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">u dont ask crazy ppl questions! u hit them over the head and run away as fast as u can!<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Yiyi: <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">hahahahahaha<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz: </span></span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">when i walked to the kitchen i just glanced outside and then when i was pouring my water i was like... hang on... was she MOPPING the DRIVEWAY??!<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz:</span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span> </span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">so then i walked back and i just stared at her<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz: </span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0);">but i was hiding behind a tree so she wouldnt see me<br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Shiraz:</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0); font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span> i hope</span></span></blockquote><span style="color: rgb(0, 128, 0); font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" ></span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-51446647016130107432008-09-01T14:42:00.002+02:002008-09-01T14:54:16.835+02:00It's been 2 years since I've updated this blog. I've been busy.<br />I decided to start writing about my life again, sort of like a running autobiography, because I'm really bad at remembering stuff.<br />If anyone besides me ever reads this, you now owe me R50. I don't know why, just pay it and we can go back to being friends.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1163775642486678182006-11-17T16:52:00.000+02:002006-11-17T17:03:58.166+02:00Here are some more pickup lines for your perusal:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:Arial;" >How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:Arial;" >So do ya wanna see something really swell?<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:Arial;" >Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it?<br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:Arial;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);">If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head tonight?</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><br /><span style="color: rgb(192, 192, 192);">* Results may vary</span></span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1162481842807690252006-11-02T17:25:00.003+02:002008-05-15T16:15:48.491+02:00<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:verdana;" >Do the right thing. Mock retarded people.</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> I was chatting to one of my friends on MSN the other day and I somehow managed to come up with the aforementioned statement.<br />If you're really interested, here's how it happened: (if you're not interested, why the hell are you still reading this instead of closing the window?!)<br /></span><blockquote><br /><table style="margin: 5px 0pt 10px; padding: 0pt; width: 100%;font-size:1em;" id="table1" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:46 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> *awkward silence*</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:46 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> y does silence have 2 b akward?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:46 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> y cant it just be silent?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:46 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> with no akwardness?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:47 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> it can b</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:47 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> it can</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:47 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> but y does it HAVE to be</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:47 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> it doesnt, its only awkward if you are not emotionally comfortable with the people that you are communicating with and feel pressured to maintain a conversation</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:48 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> thats my theory</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:48 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> haha, makes sense</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:48 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> in easy, if ur friends, its not akward</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:48 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> so wat r u suggesting about our relation ship?, i thought we wr good buddies</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> i guess not, u have broken my heart mr. ****** <i>[surname removed for privacy]</i></td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> you're wrong, </td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> 'mr' has a capital M</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> haha</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> changing subjects r we?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> creating conversation?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> *silence* (but not akward)</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> nice weather we're having</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> hahahaha</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:49 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> lol</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:50 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> lol, i reckon you also get awkward silences after making a retarded comment, without the other people mocking you</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> coz if they laugh at u its not so awkward, but if they're jus silent then u feel like a real douchebag</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> hahaha</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> yeah i know</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> its worse when they silent</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> not 4 me though, i neva make lame comments</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> so you should mock retarded people. its the right thing to do</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> hahahaha</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> HAHAHAHA</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:51 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> where did that come from?</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:52 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> well if u dont mock them then you'll get an akward silence</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:52 PM)</span> <em>:: raZer :: </em>:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 255); width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> and they'll feel like a douche</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:53 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> haha</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:53 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> i dont think they realise</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:53 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> but that was fokkin funny man</td> </tr> <tr style="color:black;"> <th style="padding: 1px 1em 3px 6px; text-align: left; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"> <span class="time">(07:53 PM)</span> -FROSTBITE-:</th> <td style="padding: 1px 2px; font-family: MS Shell Dlg; width: 100%; vertical-align: top;"> props</td> </tr> </tbody></table></blockquote><br />I don't know of anyone thats got another reason why silences are sometimes awkward, but that's my theory.<br /><br />Now go tease some retarded people!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1162195963913524612006-10-30T10:01:00.002+02:002008-05-14T21:13:10.603+02:00I haven't updated in a long time, I know. There is a reason. I didn't feel like it. Stop hassling me about it, ok.<br /><br />Anyways here are a few new pickup lines for you to try:<br />"I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you"<br />"That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too"<br />"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag"<br /><br />I've got exams in a week so I'll be busy with that, and after that it's holiday time so I'll be off having fun (I'm trying to say that I won't be updating too often).<br /><br />That's about it. GoodbyeUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1159972225935601312006-10-04T16:23:00.000+02:002006-10-04T16:30:25.936+02:00I've got a good idea for an application that I can make.<br />It's basically a PHP script that I'll put on a webserver, and it'll check my email & MMS my cellphone any emails that I receive.<br />I know that there are a lot of similar products such as BlackBerry, but you have to pay a subscription for that. There are also cellphones that allow you to check your email via POP3, but that requires you to check for new emails, rather than have them sent to you automatically.<br /><br />Another (main) reason why I want to do this project is that once I've completed it, I'll be able to incorporate SMS & MMS sending into my web applications, so I could make my website SMS users certain information.<br /><br />As soon as I have some spare time I'll start work on this...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1159971800576536962006-10-04T16:14:00.000+02:002006-10-04T16:23:20.596+02:00Well I just got back from Australia on Friday after a 14 hour flight.<br />Oz was really cool, much safer than S.A, has proper transportation and all that stuff.<br />I managed to buy the new black 30GB iPod video, which is really awesome coz I've been wanting to get an iPod for a while now.<br /><br />The downside is that I now have a week's work to catch-up, plus that webdesign manual.<br />I'm staying home from school on Friday so that I can do some work (It's just athletics at school so I won't miss anything).Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1158851308122185982006-09-21T16:54:00.000+02:002006-09-21T17:21:17.620+02:00Tomorrow I'm going to Australia for a week.<br />This is pretty weird, considering that I should be going to school for this week.<br /><br />I've been busy with boring homework & making a manual on web design, so I haven't even thought about the intrusive holiday.<br /><br />We're going to see some friends so it should be fun.<br /><br />Time to pack...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1158440552136553542006-09-16T22:57:00.000+02:002006-09-16T23:02:32.136+02:00An interesting thing happened.<br />I found out that the remote for my house's gate also opens the gate for a house down the street from me.<br /><br />This is a pretty worrying thing, considering that our electric fence & new gate would be completely useless if someone just had the right remote control for our gate.<br />I know that remotes work on codes, and its possible for two to have the same code, but its really odd that it opens the gate for a house so close to me. These identical codes should be really rare, but I'll find that out soon.<br /><br />I'm going to see how many gates my remote can open.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1158440232279517962006-09-16T22:36:00.000+02:002006-09-16T23:06:50.876+02:00OK, so I got back from camp a week ago.<br />It's been a really busy week, starting school & stuff.<br /><br />Camp was pretty cool, but nothing extraordinary happened.<br />I basically just chilled with friends & had very little sleep (1.5 hours on the last night).<br />I couldn't find a use for the smoke bombs etc, so I'll have to save them for next year.<br /><br />The place we stayed at had a crazy dog that had an affinity for shoelaces.<br />It started when one of my friends (we will call him 'K') decided to feed the dog chappies (I advised against it, telling him that it will probably kill it. I wish.) A few minutes after K gave the dog its first taste of flavoured rubber, it went ape. The dog chomped onto K's shoelaces and refused to leave them. I, naturally, laughed hysterically at the dog & K's predicament.<br /><br />The dog didn't seem to like that.<br /><br />It abandoned K and made its way towards me. I got the idea, and bolted down the hill.<br />Unfortunately our canine friend was a bit of a runner, and I had a bit too much confidence in my ability to land from high jumps.<br />I "landed" (in some versions of the story I "fell") and rolled into a pole.<br />The dog promptly landed next to me and attached itself to my shoelaces, where it stayed for the next 15 minutes, much to the amusement of the growing crowd.<br /><br />Eventually the dog let go of my shoelace for an instant in order to get a better grip on it. I took my chances and made another run for it, but this time I decided to use my intelligence over the dog :D<br />I ran towards a huge tree, and as we (the dog & I) passed the tree, I stuck my arm out and held onto the tree, doing a 180.<br />I then ran back up the hill, into the games room and jumped to safety, on the pool table.<br /><br />Yes, I am ingenious.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1157373944229756732006-09-04T14:35:00.000+02:002006-09-04T14:45:44.253+02:00Tomorrow I'm going on camp with my classmates.<br /><br />Last year some interesting stuff happened (some of it to do with shaving cream, late nights & intermingling (think I just made a word) of people in dorms.<br /><br />I've taken the liberty of adding fireworks, smoke bombs & stink bombs to the list of things to take, so I don't expect it to be too boring.<br /><br />See you on friday! (yes, I am talking to my computer right now)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1156067696605238842006-08-20T09:43:00.000+02:002006-08-20T11:54:56.656+02:00I've got a problem. My mind is defective.<br /><br />Programming is the culprit.<br /><br />I wake up in the middle of the night (beginning of the morning, actually) having developed an algorithm to solve a problem for a program that I was working on the day before.<br /><br />At first, I thought that this was awesome, I would just wake up, without having to do any work, and I would have the solution for something that would normally take me hours to get.<br /><br />Now I hate it. I can't go back to sleep after waking up, so I normally only sleep until 3 or 4 in the morning. I dream about coding programs, that's how I work out the algorithms; I'm subconciously working on it all night.<br /><br />My solution is to stop programming. At least for now.<br />I'll see how it goes...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1155243958045474912006-08-10T20:36:00.000+02:002006-08-22T22:27:35.036+02:00Anonymous wanted to know what happened on monday with the principal.<br />I decided that the only way I could avoid getting more "community service" to do (since I hardly did any) was to tell the truth about my lack of effort.<br /><br />Raise your right hand if you believed that crap. Now slap yourself.<br /><br />I forged a letter to the sandton police superintendant (dated 2nd June) which stated that I wanted to help them and that they should contact me asap, printed screenshots for a website of an AIDS clinic that I designed a while back, and added a letter that had a bunch of tasks on it that I needed to do (I needed to make a manual on how to design a website from scratch).<br /><br />I collected all of my documents, paper cliped them for professionalism, and set off to school.<br /><br />I've been sent to Mike Russell's (the principal) office so many times, we're practically on a first-name basis.<br />After taking my usual seat, I began my patter.<br /><br />I told Mike how I tried for months to help the police, and yet they wouldn't return my phone calls, didn't tell me who to speak to, and didn't seem like they needed any help at all.<br />Mike bought it, and told me that I just needed to finish doing the manual (thats a bitch) and after a few subtle hints by me, suggested that I help the new head of IT with the school network (which means that I get inside access to some stuff I've been wanting to mess around with)<br /><br />All in all, it was a pretty good meeting!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1155042501129647552006-08-08T14:56:00.001+02:002008-05-14T20:19:45.353+02:00Have you heard of the Buffalo Theory?<br />It makes plenty of sense, here it is:<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-family:Verdana;font-size:85%;" > A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and the weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members.<br /><br />In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. And, naturally, the slowest and weakest brain cells are attacked first.<br /><br />And so, it can be hypothesized that regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, resulting in a faster and more efficient brain.<br /><br />Hence, the reason to why you always feel smarter after a few beers!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1154615611398751212006-08-03T15:57:00.000+02:002006-08-03T16:33:31.413+02:00Hello everyone. D from <a href="http://dclaim.blogger.com">Dclaim</a> has been pushing me to update the blog, so here's the update.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">This is what happened today at school:<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:15:</span> Told by my headmaster's secretary that he's been waiting for me to see him for the past 3 months wrt the website I made about the school. I told her that I had no idea he wanted to see me (which is true) and that I'd be glad to see him (not as true as the first thing). Long story short, I've now got an appointment with the headmaster on monday morning, even thoough school closes this friday.<span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:20 - 13:00</span>:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span>Did a boring first-aid course with an annoying prick that couldn't make it into become a doctor (or even a nurse!).<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">13:01: </span>Prick told us that we had to clean up the class before we could go home, and blocked the main door to get out of the room. I plotted a plan to exit through the back door with two of my friends. We headed off towards the door.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">13:02: </span>Unfortunately, the back door is almost directly opposite the front door, so Prick saw our ingenious escape, before uttering "Hey you guys! Come back!". We bolted down a staircase and then across the school, taking a rest after reaching a safe distance.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">13:03: </span>Our safe distance wasn't so safe, and Prick pounced on us. After informing us that we were "F$cking @ssholes", and that "there are always a few...", he booked us and was jolly enough to divulge his plan, which was to give our names to the headmaster.<br />I thought about offering to chat with the headmaster about it (since I'd be seeing him anyways), but managed to keep quiet.<br /><br />I wonder what's going to happen on monday...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1153986250943461692006-07-27T09:28:00.000+02:002006-07-27T09:44:10.953+02:00Woohoo!!<br />Exams are finally over, which means that its just 1 more week until holidays!<br /><br />I'm gonna party, sleep late, watch movies and sell my programs!<br /><br />If you're wondering "Hey man, how come you haven't updated this thing in so long?", I'll tell you why I haven't updated it - Shut The Fuck Up.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1149528013868703372006-06-05T19:16:00.000+02:002006-06-05T19:20:13.883+02:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://reaper.org/%7Emwest/etv.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://reaper.org/%7Emwest/etv.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>LOL, e-tv is brilliant! (this is an <span style="font-style: italic;">actual</span> photo, completely uneditted!)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1149432771708774392006-06-04T16:51:00.000+02:002006-06-04T16:52:51.733+02:00Palindrome - 1. a word or phrase that reads the same backward or forward. 2. a rare instance when a dyslexic is rightUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23087434.post-1148665240900059102006-05-26T19:38:00.000+02:002006-05-26T19:40:40.913+02:00Cop pulls over taxi.<br /><br />Cop says: "License please."<br /><br />Taxi driver says: "Eish! For What?"<br /><br />Cop: "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."<br /><br />Taxi driver: "Ahh, boss! I slowed down, and nobody was coming."<br /><br />Cop: "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License please."<br /><br />Taxi driver: "What's the difference?"<br /><br />Cop: "The difference is you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law.<br />License please!"<br /><br />Taxi driver: "Heish ... if you can show me the difference between slow down<br />and stop, I'll give you my license and you give me the ticket, if not you<br />let me go and no ticket."<br /><br />Cop says: "Exit your vehicle, sir."<br /><br />The taxi driver gets out of his taxi, whereupon the cop takes out his batton<br />and starts beating the crap out of the taxi driver and says: "you want me to<br />stop or just slow down?"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0